How can I truly be at peace in a world that constantly throws curveballs my way? Before you reel out the list of things I should do as a Pastor’s Wife! Please hear me out… or better still read me out (if there is a phrase as such).
I read a quote that helps to frame this article for me, “Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of God no matter what the conflict.” –Anonymous. So I know that there is God, however I want to rant a bit to connect with someone who is reading this and wandering same thing in their heart, longing for some transparency of thoughts and aches.
Last year was so busy, that I wondered between meetings within conflicting schedules and discussions how I was going to be able to get back to my steady state in every sphere and current season of my life? Last year, I was thrust more responsibilities and immediately like every Project Management Professional would do, look to my skills and past experiences to help guide and prioritize the teeming needs that comes with such responsibilities. I struggled to no avail to take control of situations each day to bring some semblance of harmony, Peace to my world! All to no avail! My mind was constantly bombarded with things I should be doing and should have done in the different areas of failures and challenges. Emotions of inadequacy floods my mind, I am not good enough, I am a poor mother, bad example to other women and this one, oops, wait for it, I am not good enough to be a Pastor’s Wife. Really? My!? Do you have to go there?! Why?
Then to top it all off, the seemingly good habits I started and nurtured for a few years prior, I have all but wandered away from, lacking the discipline to stay true to them. Namely: mediating more steadily on scriptures, keeping active with a moderate exercise regime and connecting with close family and friends. All of these are now a struggle to keep in balance with the additional role. I was constantly at war in my mind, struggling to keep it all together in Peace and Quiet!
Then it hit me… when I went for my annual physical and my Doctor pretty much told me: “Stay healthy – emotionally and physically or you start taking medication.” I retorted back to him “Of course, I will stay healthy.”
I left the doctor’s office with a new resolve, I am not the controller of the Universe, God has that role. I must stop competing with life and let the Peace of God overflow me especially in those times when I feel I am losing my grip on life! What I am about to tell you is not new, however they are a reminder, an Aha! moment for me at least! These are points that I read in a Health magazine and have decided to have a more rounded view, the Christ Believer and Follower’s view.
- Corner your fears – You cannot build your strength on fears. You have got to look at them through the eyes of God. Remember GOD has got your back no matter what! Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18. This means you are protected from whatever you may perceive as dangerous.
- Keep your eyes Up – Take your eyes off the storms of life, stop analyzing what you could and could not do with the current situation. Take a walk, have chat with yourself, step out of the situation and ask yourself what does God see? The 2 out of 12 spies into the promised ad chose to see God and not the giants. The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it. 1 Thess. 5:24
- BREATHE! Yes, simply breathe! Tighten your body by breathing in and relax as your breath out. Do it until you hear and truly experience as your body goes this simple task, then cast your mind to a very recent time when God stepped into your situation and sorted it out. They train your mind to that memory and instantly hope and faith is reborn in thanksgiving. If it takes 20 minutes to get to this point, keep at it. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
- Don’t be a Dabbler! To make your mind a habitation of His Peace, seek out His peace, His views on a very single issue practice this mindfully. As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. Psalm 18:30
- Take it down the street – Go to church! Yes! I remember going through some stuff and as the Worship part of the service began, I just let myself go, and tears streaming down, just saying to the Heavenly Father over and over again “LORD please, HELP me!” That was one of the most refreshing services for me that week! Take off the blinders and break down walls set up by you and others as a Pastor’s Wife. Just be you, the daughter of the Most High God, come boldly with all the stuff into His presence, it is only there you can find rest and peace. “To give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.” Luke 1:79
This is by no means an exhaustive list, it is my own mindful steps taken with the intent to enter and remain in God’s Peace. I take these steps when the world around me is steering me towards chaos causing my heart to want to palpitate in anxious thoughts, I still my thoughts using these steps over and over again, no matter how it takes until I am in His peace!
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalm 91:1)
And just as they were telling about it, Jesus himself was suddenly standing there among them. “Peace be with you,” He said. (Luke 24:36)
By Evelyn Brisibe
