Personal challenges and suggestions on how to handle it all
The Bible does not specifically state what the role of the Pastor’s wife should be but we do know from John 15:16 that by virtue of the fact that you are married to your husband who is a Pastor, you are to be of service alongside him in the ministry. The position of the Pastor’s wife should be viewed as one of honor. It is a position not given to every woman and such we must accept this with gratitude. Not to accept it or to complain is a dishonor to God. As a Pastor’s wife, I can personally say that there have been many challenges along the way (many also are still in progress I might add!). As you read on you probably will identify with some of these challenges.
The position of the Pastor’s wife in my circumstance has been slowly evolving over the years. In the early stages of Church growth (initially 3 members – in our family basement), not much emphasis was placed on my role or position. Over the last 5 to 8 years, my role has become more evident. The Church has grown rapidly. Now presently there are 400 members in our local Parish and my husband being the Chairman of the Board of Coordinator over 200 parishes in North America (the United States, Canada, and the Caribbean). As the growth of the Church has expanded I have had mounting concerns that I was not ready for the responsibility. I have also felt that people (especially Church members) had certain expectations of me e.g. the way I should dress, act or speak etc. Many a times I have felt that whatever I have done in the ministry was not good enough for the Church.
These expectations coupled with no preparation or formal training especially made it hard for me to know what it was I was to do in the ministry. I’m sure many of you such as in my case probably also have careers, school or other jobs prior to your husband’s call into the ministry. Many husbands were probably in the same situation. I’m sure many of you had no idea you would be in the position you are in today! It is really interesting to know how God works! I want to encourage you that with persistent prayers, God is able to work it all out.
Probably the biggest challenge for me has been trying to balance family, home, work and / or school (for some of you too), plus Church activities (whew! not an easy task!). But God can help you as He has done for me (mind you I am still working on it). The key is prioritization. As a young adult (prior to marriage), I decided that God and family were important; hence when it came as a career choice, I kept that in my mind as a pediatrician (true, this is a very busy career). I have been able to work part time, which gives me more flexibility and consequently the adjustment to family life and the ministry has been easier. I strongly urge you to choose a career that will give you some flexibility. If this is not possible, do not be afraid to ask for help even if it is from your husband at times. However, if you are fortunate enough to stay at home, then please do stay at home.
