Your Emotional Health Matters

How many times have you, as pastors’ wives, put on a happy face on Sunday morning when all was not well? How many times have you agreed to do certain activities in the church to ‘save face’ and automatically said ‘yes’ when deep down in your heart you wanted to say ‘no?’ What are your innermost thoughts and what do they say about how you handle not only personal situations, but also those pertaining to your husband, your children, and other Church members? How has your past affected your thoughts today? How do you cope with stress?

I have just described many of the challenges we face as Pastors’ Wives, and the emotions we hide as result of them. Surely many of you can identify!

The concept of being emotionally healthy is not new. It is, however, rarely addressed by those of us in the church, much less amongst Pastors’ Wives. By our very nature we have learned to accept every commitment that comes our way, sometimes to the detriment of our own feelings. Many of us have become numb to our emotions entirely—all for the sake of portraying a ‘good image’ to everyone in the church.  We must question whether or not we are being true to ourselves. Is this really what God wants from us?

Many of us assume that if we are physically and spiritually healthy we are completely healthy. The fact of the matter is that our emotional health is just as important as the others, if not more so. This is the case because in times of crisis and major life events, our emotional health determines how we are able to move on and adjust. Total spiritual and physical health do not necessarily prevent turmoil.

As Christians, we must realize that while having spiritual health can help significantly, it will not exempt us from emotional issues so long as we have earthly bodies.

3 John 1:2 says, “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in good health, even as thy soul prospereth.” We can infer that the word ‘health’ refers to all forms of health.  

 What does it mean to be emotionally healthy?

An emotionally healthy person is someone who can function in society and meet the demands of everyday life. A person with good emotional health can recover effectively from illness, stress, misfortune and crisis. Such a person understands and can adapt to change, have a positive self-concept and can independently meet their needs.

 In other words, the better you are able to master your emotions, the greater your capacity to enjoy life, cope with stress, and focus on important personal priorities.

 How can you build better emotional health?

• Observe your daily response or reactions to life
  • How?
    • Commit to listening
    • Become fully aware of what it going on inside you regarding your physical, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being
    • Observe your actions/reactions and trace their causes to the root so you eliminate underlying unhappiness
    • Ask yourself why you behave the way you do
  • This will demand alertness, but it is very possible to do

     

• Learn to have balance and flexibility in your life
  • How?
    • Learn when to step forward and take action, and when to step back for rest and recharging
    • Seek support and encouragement from loved ones and mentors
    • Find time to talk with other Pastors’ wives
    • Learn to rely on others
    • Trust your judgment and rely on yourself sometimes too

In conclusion, my prayer is that you will become more aware of who you are in Christ. May you understand that in order to be ‘prosperous and fruitful in the land’ you must attend to matters regarding your emotional health. In doing so, you will learn to live more authentically—as a person first, then as a Pastors’ wife. Ultimately, may you be and do all Christ wants for you with much joy and happiness in Jesus’ name! May God give you the strength and grace to move forward. Amen.